Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
