Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
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would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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