JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The beer is more important than you right now.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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