I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
