you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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