its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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