So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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