Non-Jews are for practice
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
