so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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