He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
two words...techno handjob
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize