hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..