ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.