Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
