She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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