careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
