some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
