I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize