Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
