I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
well you can't waste a boner
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My feet surprised me
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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