Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You have to summon your inner elephant
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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