I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
