his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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