What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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