I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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