I want to walk on stilts...naked
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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