OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
