So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
