Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
