I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
