She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
