ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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