hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
