Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
