Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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