where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
