I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
