lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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