can we get nightvision for the apartment?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Did I show you my penis last night?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
