He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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