just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
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I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
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I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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