Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends