we're chasing vodka with high fives
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.