clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.