Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
