doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
