Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
