the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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