I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
