I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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