what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
