nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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