Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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