Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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