glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
