i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
