smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You dont lie about slip and slides
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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