Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
