Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I pour the whiskey from now on
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
