Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
