Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
