Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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