All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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