wat bout pragnant strippers??
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
