I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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