yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Randomize
