I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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