im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize