Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
