im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
