the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
