Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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