Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
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